parents are the weirdest things in history. really.

so are boys. yup.

Lord, i don't know what's going on in my very screwed up life right now. but Lord, You said that all things work together for the good of those who love You and are called according to Your will. so Lord, i'm placing this in Your hands. i'm gonna believe that no matter how things turn out, it's all part of Your plan for the good of me. i've run out of tears to cry, run out of heart-space to be hurt anymore, run out of time to wait, run out of love to give, so Lord, i need Your love. i need You to clear up the bits and pieces and to put a new heart in me, i need You to give me time. in You, Lord, i believe. family, that's in Your hands. every other emotion or feeling i have inside me, it's Yours as well. teach me Lord, to not pick up my baggage again. teach me to give it to You wholly. 2007, scary as it is, it's in Your hands. i love You, Lord. kisses! in Jesus' name i pray, amen.

mmm. yeah. i'm quite confused now. life is very confusing. i don't know why i have to go ahead and complicate my actually simple life, but. well. carnal nature i suppose. just totally natural for us to go whack our own lives and leave ourselves lost and hopeless. ah well.

2007. i'm not ready for you yet. but since no matter what happens, you're gonna come anyways, i suppose i'd better pray real hard and brace myself. boy, am i in for a ride.

Lord, help me get through this year and i promise, promise, promise that next year i'll testify. i promise.

gaisu and yingchuan, thanks for being there to protect me and comfort me and give me hugs when i really needed people i loved to be around. you'll never understand how bad it hurt, but thanks for trying anyway. i love you both so much.. hugs!

ness, please please keep it a secret. really. i can't afford to lose another guy friend to stupid things like "love". i'm 3 years too young for this. you too joel chew and nicky and lukie ang. and gaisu. and emmanuel. oh please.... shh... (: private k? our clique only.





crushed. i am well and truly crushed. in more ways than one.

i'm in church now and i'm so friggin' bored. BORED. bore. boring. boredom. borish. BORED.

oh goodness. i'm about to evaporate. i need social people besides gabsy who is tonnes of fun but slightly eccentric. siiiigh. why is music prac so late? and is anyone else going at all? BABY! hurry up and come to church already... oh boo.

i must rememeber to upload some pretty hot shots from Christmas. i must. there's this near-naked shot of ness and i but we're actually fully clothed. cool eh?

and this topmodel-wannabe shot of three of us and puppy. all looking quite hot, really.

hmm. i'm bored. have i mentioned that before? well, yeah. i am.

i need to go shopping again. so what's new? but the catch is, my wallet holds only $87.85 so i can't do much shopping without bankrupting myself, can i?

ooooh,yes. i forgot to add, we played monopoly as a family yesterday and i was bankrupted. like, major. daddy bought a hotel on Mayfair so each time i landed there, i had to pay him like, $2000. dammit. so by the end of the game (12 am or so) i was in a $3,300 debt to dad. no fair huh?

ooooooooh, yes. i also forgot to add. JUZAN! i miss you majorly. my gawsh. you're so much hotter now la. but lose that beer belly. hugs and kisses to you, love.

ooooooooooooh, yes. i've got this secret right, and i think puppy is trying to find out. puppy, you should just ask me about it. you know i'd tell you. and yes, the crush is crushing again. oooh.. juicy secrets! loooove it. but puppy.. you've got a not-so-secretive secret too, no? snap out of denial and just ask HER out already. right ness? and nic?

oooooooooooooooh, yes. i'm done with more than half my homework. can you believe that?

oooooooooooooooooooh, yes. i need to borrow someone's chinese workbook so i can copy the MCQs. i actually did the written ones already. :) hey! it's better than 100% not done by me right?
okay yes. i'm off in search of civilisation.

kelvie.i miss you tonnes. talk to me. you had better e-mail me or something soon. cos i'd kill you. rip off your head and staple it to darly's doorknob. love and choodles!


fun fact: we share 5000 common DNA threads with elephant sharks and we're 97% alike (in terms of DNA) with a certain kind of worm. cool huh?

hello

merry Christmas

happy new year

school starts soon

whoop dee doo.


vaness is a very happy noodle. or what she calls, happy doodle.
i've got 3 years to wait. doubt he will.
nicole. you need a hot, tall, nice, gentleman. yes, you do.


Christmas didn't feel like Christmas.

i'm gonna miss my boys when they go in to NS won't i? mm hmm

i've got nothing to say really. nothing much at all.

dang.

this was for um, another day. 21st December i think. uh. yeah

Christmas beckons. :)

oh ya. if you ever see my entire blog restarted again, it's because i'm unable to gain access to my blog due to McAfee thinking i'm too vulgar. nice. i don't even use vulgarities la. stupid McAfee.

anyway, i decided to go ahead with the partial jerk thing.. so i bought some people presents. and i hope that those who're no receiving any won't take it to offense cos it's really beyond me to buy every single one a gift. i'd either be beyond broke or it'd be mass presents. i hate mass presents so i won't do it to you guys ok?

went out with the boys and colin and baby yesterday. baby got swiped off by a UFO (Undeniably Funny uh, Oboe) and so the rest of us went to watch night at the museum.

hey baby, i'm sorry i didn't tag along with you and gaisu.. it's just uber awkward for me to slot myself into your clique and go HELLO GAIUS! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY BUT I'M FOLLOWING YOU GUYS TO TOWN!!! know what i mean? and i love you both to bits la, so don't get me wrong. and anyway, i have moral obligations to stay with my boys cos i love them more than ever. and after all, they are my cell.

so yes, we watched the movie and then "spy spy my little eye, i spy....." um, Fareez and his to drones. haha... i don't think they know me la, so i didn't embarrass myself and go say hi. i'm smart huh? haha

then we splashed around in the water place upstairs of vivo (great place for lonerdom.. i'll go there next time i want a day off by myself) and then we had starbucks and then they planned a slumber party, and then i went off home and they went to toys"R"us. oh well.

there's an art to their madness.

i'll be popping by church in about half an hour to go give a hand to the Christmas crew. haha. i still think i'm over dressed but heck, i love my dress. muahaha. yay, me!

bang, bang! you're dead.

lah dee dee dah... Christmas beckons.

arggh!!! whoever went ahead and made losing weight such a tediously long process?!?!?! oh wait. that's God.

i officially declare "fat" a vulgarity. (BABY, take note. you fat gay. haha. love you!)

in my book, it's a fallacy that some people should be born with abso-freaking-lutely no ability to get f*t no matter how much they pig out or not run around like hamsters on they're wheel. wahlaueh. i mean, here we f*t people are, trying to shed some pounds, and we're like, dying. and we look to our left and see this drop-dead-gorgeous slim model stereotype [a.k.a nicole ann ee min or farhanis ahmad]stuffing her mouth full of twinkies, M&Ms, maltezers, calbee, famous amos cookies, ben and jerry's and NO way does she put on a single fraction of a pound. even worse, she lies there to rot, but she still seems to lose more weight then we f*t people do. wahlaueh. where is the justice in this world??? why God, why??


life has been screwed. got chased out of school by our very enthusiastic security guard because i wasn't in the freaking uniform. missed prayer because i was out with the parents (and korkor gave me his "why-weren't-you-there-when-you're-a-PK" face). didn't manage to get that tan with hanis and lina after all. (thanks to the parents). dadsy and i are constantly living the life of a soldier in the Vietnam war, treading the grounds and never know when we'll trigger off a land mine.(namely--mum). haven't gone out much or done anything constructive. haven't christmas shopped(i don't even know if i want to), haven't done my freaking homework (i saw oliver today and wahlaueh, he's done ALL of his already. and believe me, i have ALOT of homework).


yawp.


yeah, yawp. it currently seems like the only non-vulgar word to describe my life.


ooh! fun moment! yesterday we were in the PR and baby and i were fighting over the keyboard, totally confusing alvin and poor darling jeryl. hahahaha... moron.

i love my baby. you're so f*t and stupid you know that? :) no la. you're not f*t. i am. slightly. BUT STILL! it gives you no reason to call me a f*t man. MAN. :( i am not a pretty boy. imma..imma.. imma gonna be somebody's momma someday, y'all.. (okay. grace. now seems like a good time to shut up)

so my fake angel bought me blueberry morning to add on to my humongous tub of cereal mix (heh, nicks) and he got me stuff so now he's broke. :) i LOVE bankrupting people. no la.. real sweet of you, my love... kisses!

my angel (whom i strongly suspect is korkor, but oh well, the truth will be revealed in a week) does not appreciate the hugs and kisses i send to him/her through joash. :( why???? it's okie dokie ashie baby, i like your hugs so you can hug me and ignore my angel. muahahahahah.

hmm. shopping tomorrow with mum i think. i'm considering between being a complete jerk and buying NO presents at all. zero. zilch. nope. nada. either that, or i buy only the selected few presents and be a jerk to those who think they're close to me but get nothing. i'm quite the b>itch and i love being exclusive so people feel left out, but i mean, it IS christmas. after all. soo..... i'm stuck. somebody help me please! i hate it when i'm freaking broke and am unable to make everyone happy cos it's christmas. but who needs me anyway?

okay, i'm back in the mood of absolute vulgarities (a.k.a f*t mood. not profane=vulgar mood. ) and McAfee is starting to seriously (and i mean seriously) cheese me off. what with all this screening and whatever nots. i can't even go to kelvin's blog for goodness sake. neither can i access hanis'/an's/lizzo's/alot of people's blogs. wahlaueh. i hate McAfee. abso-freaking-lutely HATE McAfee. po-si-tive-ly loathe the stupid program. :(



choodles! i need to terminate my relations with FatMart. f*t ain't doing me no good. f*t or obese or even slightly chubbs. deh-ehng. the sordid life i lead.

Did You rise the sun for me?
Or paint a million stars that I might
Know Your majesty?
Is Your voice upon the wind?
Is everything I've known marked
With my maker's fingerprints?

Breathe on me
Let me see Your face
Ever I will seek You
'Cause all You are, is all I want, always
Draw me close in Your arms
Oh God, I wanna be with You

Can I feel You in the rain?
Abandon all I am to have You
Capture me again
Let the earth resound with praise
Can You hear as all creation lives
To glorify one name?

I miss this song. And Lord, You’ve done so much for me, but why am I still such a dumb block of wood not to realize it and to give You all the praise and whatnots that You deserve? There’s so much that I know (what to do? Second generation mah..) but so much I don’t put to action. If only I could start all over. Lay down all my responsibilities and start over on a clean slate. Forget the piano and my discouragement about it. Forget my cell and my love for them. Forget Ephimerida and the memories they hold. Forget all and just be Mary and not Martha. Oh how I wish. How I long for that intimacy with You again. Lord, is it too late?

I’ve been uber frustrated lately. I don’t wanna hang out with people, don’t wanna talk, don’t wanna go out, don’t wanna do anything. Oh gosh. What’s wrong with me? I hate this feeling. Really. Yawp. I think I’m schizophrenic. Sometimes I’m all hyper, and then sometimes I’m all moody and sometimes I’m hyper but I wanna be alone and some people mistake that for emo-ness. But, oh come on.

Oh dang

I’m starting to speak incoherently. Choodles.

116 pounds. Oh man. That’s about 13 pounds too much. Aaaaaaarrrggghhh. FatMart indeed.

i'm so stuck in this concrete jungle la. call it culture shock if you will. almost 8 days in the wilderness and someone smacks me back in Singapore with the couch the laptop and teevo... whooboy, cheap thrills.

life has been swell.. i won't say much about any of the camps.. i've said so much before and i'm too darned lazy to repeat myself.. :)

SERENE thanks babe.. you impacted my life in your sweet ways.. i'm glad i was able to play a part in it all, and just as God gave me the opportunity to help you, He gave you the opportunity to help me. through you, He reminded me of why i even became a leader in the first place. it was a great encouragement... hunnie, i'm expecting so much more from you so you don't let me down okay? blow my mind (or whatever's left of it) away! i love you!!

i need shopping. oh dang. i gotta start doing the homework though. HANIS hey loveboat, i just realised that friday's your anniversary and anyways, i'm not allowed. :( sorry to let you down yet again.. have fun with lina or hadi though.. update me on your life okay? i miss you!!


i don't really know what's wrong with me lately. i'm not in "emo" state cos i'm not depressed or anything. but life lately has been.. like that. when everything should be pumped up and psyched, i'm flapping in the wind made by the rushing crowd, left behind. i've got my girlfriends, yeah, i do, but still. i feel so, alone? and weirder still... i like it. loner-dom, i call it. it's getting to my head.

tomorrow.. marine parade library to do the homework.. can't stay at home.. i'll die.. coffee and textbooks with me, anyone?

choodles.. i need foolscap paper.. haha.. and gao zhi also.. oh God. i feel 2007 on my back already.. O levels.. here i come!






i'm fine. sure, i'm fine, thank you very much, you hypocrite. if you don't really care about me, don't try to make things okay by meaningless words when you shoved a whole bucket of attitude in my face. at the very least apologize. oh wait, i forgot. you're some male chauvinist who believes that apologizing would cause your ego to be diminutive. w-ell... i could've known.

puppy! you told the whole world for what? i thought i could trust you. guess not. you're just like korkor. wahlaueh. i'm a tad disappointed. :(

darly, thanks for caring and being so sensitive.. i miss you loads.. we go out soon can? and where's your mad friend, kelvin? has he forgotten me and you already?? i love darly!! oh yeah, what's the address for the forum thingo huh?

isaac bumby, i don't have your e-mail address anymore.. remind me okay?

test test.... McAfee is frustrating. so is life.

haiya!!!!