okay, here is the updated update of my life. :) it's pretty long so read it if you care to.

let's see.. there's the family side, friends, school, church, studies, spiritual, and others. let's start with others okay? okay!

hmm.. i can't believe this. i'm 16 (almost) and the relatives are already asking if i have a boyfriend! what is the world coming to? for the past 4 days, it has been: "wah! very long never see you already ah! prettier now leh! wah! got boyfriend or not?" "aiya! so fast! so tall! kah lio liao hor? wah! bi li eh mama lio leh! got boyfriend already or not?" "xiao'en huh! wah! i cannot recognize! come, come, i see.. wah..... nu da shi ba bian! so this year, O levels huh? time go very fast HOR? aiya, i old already. so.. got boyfriend already or not?" OH GOSH! so scary. then my mum went ahead and told them about my plans to get married when i'm 23. so they all went, "WAH! so fast huh? only 7 years more leh!" oh goodness, shut up already. i dread next year.. haha...

dictionary:
"kah lio liao" = taller LIAO
"lio" = tall (hokkien)
"nu da shi ba bian" = (direct translation from chinese to english) girl big eighteen changes

so anyway, moving away from that, family-wise, it's been pretty tough.. actually. it's horrid. absolutely horrid. but i've learnt that things like family warfare have been put in my life to make me stronger. although, this Romans 8:28 is VERY difficult to remember when i have both parents attacking me at full-force on both warfronts. but, i will make it through. i hope. so people! i need your hugs! i do.

friends.. i still feel slightly outcasted sometimes.. okay la. not outcasted. just, not in the thick of things. but might as well la huh? then i can focus on my studies. like in school, i've got tonnes of friends but i know i'm not the firestarter. i know that i don't make things tick and i'm not much of a conversationalist. same in church also.. haha... friends? most of them have flown off to YA or other places and... yeah.. thank God for people who stand by me. really. but i've also come to realize that (haha. cliche. so what) the world will still roll around without me. so. ya la. i'm not princess grace the almighty diva we all need to survive. NOPE. i'm just grace. but i'm quite happy about it, actually..

school. KILLER. oh gosh. i can't wait for the stupid O's to be over. so tedious la. people used to tell me "when you hit your O level year, time will fly past you. really." i never could believe it. but. GRACE! IT'S TRUE! so scary. i remember the day i went around and told people "eh xinyi! it's exactly 9 months to O levels! cool huh?" and now... it's almost exactly 8 months to O levels. i have no idea where the past one month has ran off to. my life has seriously been ricocheted around on the pinball table. busy bee, i have been.

church. politics as ever.. but thankfully, things have been much quieter. (maybe cos we haven't had service in awhile) i hope it's a permanent quietness cos i really can't take politics much longer.. church was meant to be innocent, good, healty, loving, happy, God-fearing, worshippful, prayerful, a place of revival and joy. SO..... why can't things be the way He planned them to be? but ya la.. i'm loving the cell.. i'll be sad if things happen as rumoured, but i hope we stick as one. the girls are coming now, so that's a massive improvement. i like being in charge. haha... ya ya, control freak. whatever. music team? i don't think i'm doing too good on the team, but i shan't give up. i won't quit. i'll keep practising and playing and i'll keep trying to fit in. hell, even if i can't fit in, i'm playing for the Lord, not for the bandmates. so yes! i have an inspiration! :)

studies. aiya. i'm so far behind, i doubt i have a chance. as long as i can get my ass back in the game, i'm alright and my 5A1's are in the bag. english, c.humanities, c.science, Emaths, and literature. no problem right? i hope. i need a good score to get me into mass comm. and i also pray that mass comm in TP is where God wants me to go. i really want to go where He wants me to, and not elsewhere.

love life. dead. haha. as it should be la. a crush here and there, but a crush is, as always, harmless. yeah, sparks of jealousy and dejection due to cold shoulders or blatant jealousy or whatever, but all a party and parcel of life. i guess. haha.. but what's the point of liking someone if either ways i gotta wait til 2009? so, ya.. i'm just ignoring all my feelings for now.. :)


OH GOSH! i've turned into such a passive baby. dang. i used to be bitchy and pervicacious, refusing to bow down to the rules stipulated by the higher ups, but i've turned into pumpkin mush, accepting life the way it is. what is wrong with me? but i guess it's better this way la.. i'll get into less trouble, maybe i'll grow up quicker too.. ya.. lie low, gracie, lie low. yeah, it's better this way.. i was getting tired of fighting anyway. how long can one struggle? how long can one whine and pout? not very long, i'd say.. 15 and a half years, time to take a break.. i'll get back into the ring next year. that's for sure! haha...

anyway, to sum up my current life, it's been the lowest i've ever been, but it's also been where i've been closest to God in the past few years. i guess it's true, sometimes it takes tragedy to pull two people together. even if these two people are God and me. haha... i'm looking forward to brighter days, pulling through these darker times. but. can la. can make it.

okie dokeries.. i've said before that i'll get my ass back into the studying game. SO. i guess i'd better go work on Singapore's population growth in 1950. choodles!

heya bobos!

merry merry chinese new year!!! :)

haha.. lotsa angbaos this year.. it's the peak of my angbao collecting career i think.. yup! but i can't touch a single cent because i dropped my phone into the pool and then i lost the 1GB memory card. dang. SO. because i lost those puny cards, i lost a million contacts and pictures and memories.. :( WE MUST TAKE MORE PICTURES! (especially people in 4E1 cos i'll miss you guys!)

i think i have new muscles from starting the fire at the pool party.. haha... hanis, you will now be a tekko with muscles! :) yay! and i shall be a kuda with really small muscles.. i think this year can pass the inclined pullups la huh?

hmm... we had a 5hour long buffet today. damn. i think i put on weight. so sad huh? yup! never mind.. the treadmill was bought for a reason.

okay, as for the over pinkiness of my blog, i aplogize. i just picked whatever and it turned out this colour so.. aiya, whatever la.. i'm too lazy to go fix up a tagboard and links and other bloggable stuff like that, so when i'm done tackling the common tests and homework, i will. meanwhile, say what you want to on these comment thingamajigs okay?

oh and, give me your numbers again okay? (when the phone is all fixed up, that is.)


what's with the cold shoulder, buttface?

i hate valentine's. hate it. (for now la. no boyfriend what.)

aiya. so annoying.




LALALALALA... thank you rubykins, for your rose.. it's so sweet! haha.. it's dead now though... :( oh well.. roses are like that. and lina, if i put on weight, it's wholly your fault.. haha...

2 days to friday. class pool party, sentosa, or reunion dinner? hmmm... i think i'll go with option number one.. i hope it won't rain and it'll be fun.. last year together babies.. i'll miss you all so much!

i finally got my butt round to getting a proper google thing for this stupid blog thing. so annoying la.. change for what?

okie dokeries.. i'm typing lame and useless and incoherent and boring things, so i'll go get inspiration then blog proper.. choodleloos!

:) i had a very good one hour's sleep on the sun today.. i ran out of tanning oil so it was just skin on sun.. it felt soo sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good. know what i mean?

i can't wait for next friday! chill with 4e1 day! :)

today was retarded. we, 4e1, officially do not like the chihuahua.. haha.. we lined up according to index number and walked in a super straight like to her class.. haha.. it looked so funny. see? nerds can have humour too!

ooh! we played soccer today and there was no mud, so thank God. and we won! 4-2.. the punishment for the "losers" was that they had to do 10 push ups but our class was really united so we all did the push ups together. so mrazmi cut it down to just 5.. it wasn't tiring or what but it was a great show of our unity.. :) just when i'm beginning to love my class, we're splitting up. wahlaueh.

okie dokeries! choodles! i'm gonna go hit the shower.. smooch smooch all!

who lives in the pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBOBSQUAREPANTS!

okay. don't ask me what that was for.. it's just a random thought that i haven't watched a stupid cartoon in quite awhile..

korkor was so spastic la. i mentioned the prom night thing and the high possibility that i may be going on a cruise for prom. (i was initially against it but after awhile, the idea does sound quite appealing) and then i mentioned that we could ask other people as well. then he immediately launched into a who-are-you-going-to-bring attack.. so funny la.. then he was like, "eh xiao'en.. if you really don't know who to ask right, i don't mind going leh.." HAHAHAHHA. moron. then i asked if he was going cos it was on a boat and he replied "no la.. i want to take care of my meimei so no one can lure you to a club and rape you." what the heck la?? haha.. mad man.. and he's so much older than the people going for prom.. 7-8 years, to be exact. and ha wants me to as chewy to go as well. so retarded can? and anyway, if chew was going to crash anybody's prom, it wouldn't be mine.. would it? (private joke.)

anyway, today is a i'm-not-talking-to-dad day. he was so horrendously annoying. grr.


baby.. thanks for lending me that soft cushy shoulder when i needed someone to cry to. you're lucky i managed to snap out of it fats, or you'd have been stuck with me in a hurricane mood.. haha... hugs!

ooh. did you know that ilyaas has 21 pairs of jeans? insane right? which guy has that many pairs of jeans la.. siao. hahah...

in exactly one week, serena will be celebrating not just Valentine's day, but also her first year anniversary with her lookalike boyfriend. and here, grace will be moping around cos she's alone. again. oh wow whee. my valentine's will be spent in literature remedial followed by prayer meeting. cool huh? yup! but aiya, i should be use to this by now shouldn't i? NOT! only 23 more months stand between me and my future husband/boyfriend. nope, no problem waiting just a little longer.. someday............... ahh.. retarded fantasies.

okay. i'm done being annoying. choodles!


i'm conned and fused. and no, you don't say boo to a goose, like you don't say peccadillo to a priest.

fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat FAT.


i feel so so fat.

plus. i think i'm balding. die la....

ARGHH.... how? how to stop hairfall? so annoying.

since people has been bugging me to update proper. haha.. i shall. buggers! oh.. i found out that a bugger is one who has sexual intercourse with animals. sick huh? and all i thought it meant was "irritating".. like, stop bugging me. you know?

firstly, and AGAIN, i need to aplogize to Nicole Ann Ee Min. i'm really ultra sorry that i made you cry love.. and all the time i thought i was the victim. so anyway, to make up for it all, i shall confess something to you in front of everyone. you may think it's really weird or something but truth is, i feel superly inferior whenever i'm near you. perhaps it's the height or maybe the looks or cash or just cos you're so loveable.. i think that you're superior to me. i feel that way about a few people but aiya.. all part of life. that's why i was so so scared that you were pissed at me on saturday.. but as i have said before, and i will say again, sorry that i was immature enough to think that you'd push aside our friendship for something like clothes. haha. and the message i sent was not meant in a mean way.. i was trying to protect your interest (cos i thought you were pissed at me so you wouldn't want to be seen in the same place) so....................................................................... I'M SORRY! don't ask me why i feel so bad about it and why i've apologized so many times.. i just feel the need to.. anyway, dinner next week okay? plus we shall play together (i play sus you play keys) and we shall have lunch together and sit together during service okay? smile babe.. please?






OKAY. back to the part of my life which is not directed to one special person only.

:) i feel retarded. i was nice so i sacrificed my life and went out with chew and ness and isaaaaaaac cos i was such a sweetie pie. so sweet right? yes! but anyway, couldn't find any nice stuff for chew to wear for new year so he shall jst have to wait and do last minute shopping.

these few days have taught me alot. they've taught me how to stand up for myself, taught me how to trust the RIGHT people, taught me not to be so friggin' sensitive, and taught me how not to trust my intuition. i've also realised that life really is in my own hands so i need to take responsibility. i've also realised that there are people in my life who genuinely care about me. and as much as i think i don't have a life, i do. i may not have many close friends due to my lack of freedom and i may not be the closest to any one, although i'd love that, but i've learnt that with each part of life, comes a certain amount of freedom and privileges i'm entitled to, and i can whine and crap all i want, but the bottomline is that i have to make the best of it.

so to everyone who loves me (chew, nic, ness, isaac, gaius, baby, gina, maddy, meredith, cell, music team, korkor, chuanie, angie etc etc.. and all the school people, like, 4e1, nis, di, an, fad, ikmal, ilyaas, JP, philly, ruby etc etc...) thank you! and i love you guys and girls so much too! i'm sorry for the times i've taken you guys for granted or treated you guys like crap, but thanks for being there when i needed a hug or simply a smile.. and thanks for being the sweetest people in the world, God's blessing to me.. :)


yayaayayayayayaya... okay, drama, touchy-touchy done.. i'll probably regret my drama-ness in a while, but hey! give as much love as you possibly can in the spur of the moment cos you'd regret it more if you didn't and you lost one of those you love. (i quote from daddy)


SPREAD SOME LOVE PEOPLE! IT'S VALENTINE'S!!!!!!! :)

P.S i want my roses and chocolates and even though you know that i'll say no, please ask me out and ask me to be your valentine's

:) haha.. you only get to do this once a year.

2007, valentine's alone again. oh well... just wait til 2009. 23 months more to go.. amore amore..

i can't wait for the 16th.. fun awaits me.. :) yessah.. tan tan here i come.. how exciting.. i hope it'll be fun.. i've never been a fan of class outings and stuff so this is a first and i pray it's memorable!

okay, done. choodles!

aiyayayayayaya..................

nicole!!!! i'm so so sorry!! sorry lovie.. i'm passing something to gaius to pass to you so you make sure he passes it to you okay? love ya!

i'm too lazy to post something else... so.. wait la huh?

choodles!!!!!!!!!